The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 372 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/20/09
You offer some interesting ideas and locale. Watch for punctuation errors. Tighten up your story to make sure the reader "gets" the one message you are writing, using all the descriptions to bolster the message.
What I see here is that you have a good imagination that will take you to better places in your writing. Keep writing.

Mona