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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Winter (the season) (08/13/09)

TITLE: Winter (i)
By janice moorcroft
08/15/09


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He sat staring out of the window at the frost covered garden,lost in thought and half remembered dreams of childhood; “I used to love the window pictures painted by Jack Frost” he mused, “but not the shivering under the bedclothes that went with it!”

He adjusted himself in the chair, his bones aching with age, and sipped the sweet milky tea in his beaker. “Did we really have colder winters then?” he asked himself,”or do we just remember it that way?” Closing his eyes he cast his mind back to young love and winter games...

“Ha...got you!” Emma’s face was radiant with the cold and exertion of the snowball fight. Grinning Ted aimed back, “you might regret that!” “Missed!” laughed Emma, dancing behind the tree and throwing another snowball at him. Ted gave chase catching Emma and laughingly rolling them both in the snow. “I love you so much” he said, kissing her on the nose, “Will you marry me?” “Only if you get down on one knee and do it properly” she laughed.

Ted stood up, brushing off the snow and holding his hand out to Emma. Then getting down on one knee, and putting on a formal voice he said “Emma Brown, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?” “Why certainly sir,” she said, equally formal....

Ted took another drink of tea; the wedding was also in winter. Boxing Day-one of their few days’ holiday. It was raining, cold icy drops blown side-wards by the wind. The church was cold too, no heating back then, but standing there before family, friends and God made the mundane special. “In sickness and in health...till death do us part” remembered Ted. “We certainly had a lot of that in the last few years,” he sighed. “But it was good to start with.”

Smiling, Ted picked up a picture of a young couple with their three children,” we didn’t do a bad job eh Emma?” he asked the young lady in the picture. Memories of sunny days playing games with the children and lazy afternoons on the beach prompted Ted to pull himself up to look into the distance, staining to see the sea front. “I used to love the beach in winter” he reminisced,” lonely and fresh, somewhere you could get in touch with yourself again”

Smiling, he gently placed the photograph back on the window ledge and picked up another frame. This time an old couple smiled back at him, the woman proudly holding a tiny baby. “I’m glad you two met” he sighed, “We called her Emma too”

“You feel so close to me still sometime Emma.” Tears filled his eyes and he gently placed the picture back with the others. Then settling himself in the chair Ted slipped from winter into springtime.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Jeanne E Webster 08/22/09

What an endearing story! Nicely crafted. Sounds real too. It's good to stroll down memory lane, isn't it?!

I liked the tenderness you show in the MC. Does the ending imply that he died?
"Then settling himself in the chair Ted slipped from winter into springtime." A delicate move.

Bone up on your grammar skills; lots of double quote errors. Keep writing and editing; you're on your way!




Yvonne Blake 08/25/09
Wow...you put a lot of information in a short story! Perhaps it would have been stronger to pick one or two points and develop them.
Keep writing.