The Official Writing Challenge
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I love this! The torment of a loving father trying to save his child yet knowing without God there was no chance. Perfect ending! Good job.
You drew me into this father's agony and I felt the cold and the agony right along with your MC. I'm glad it was a happy ending. Great job!
This is very good. It held my attention to the last word. Nice writing!
Breath! Breath! Breath! You tore my breath and my heart. Now maybe, others can see how us Daddies feel! But your final "Daddy" brought a tear to my eye. Yes!
I think this was a very well-written submission. It kept my attention through-out the entire story. I was drawn in from start to finish! Excellent writing! I was with the Daddy all the way and even felt his anxiety when he forced himself to stop long enough for a moment of focused prayer . This was a good point to make in the story and something we need to always remember in the heat of a distressing situation ...loved that this story's "daddy" remembered to focus and call out for his own "Daddy" to help them!Excellent writing!
I enjoyed reading this story. The anxiety level you created was gripping. Your one word ending aptly finishes the story.
Very good, indeed. You told this suspenseful story like a pro! You have talent and I hope to read more of your work. You're on your way. Just the right mixture and a strong message.
Great suspense story. I was digging with your mc!
A very well-written story filled with intensity and capturing the hearts of the readers asking for more. Well done.
A well written and exciting story which I'm glad had a happy ending. Thanks - Colin
Good emotions and dialogue... great ending!
Excellent adventure story!! My heart is racing. Great writing, and I love the ending.
Whew! My heart rate went up reading this! Well written.
You did a really great job on this piece--held the reader right from the start to the end. Great!
Strong emotional connection with the main charaacter which keep the story moving, well done. One thing, and you probably know this but then again you might not: 'of it’s stability.' You only need the apostrophe when make it is into it's.
I agree with Bill...I had tears in my eyes when I finished reading the story, too. It is an excellent entry, I hope it does well. I look forward to seeing results in the morning. Good luck.
Huge Congratulations, Cherie!
Wonderful story...congrats on your win!
Amazing what you did in just 750 words! Simply extraordinary. Well done.