The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
I love this! The torment of a loving father trying to save his child yet knowing without God there was no chance. Perfect ending! Good job.
You drew me into this father's agony and I felt the cold and the agony right along with your MC. I'm glad it was a happy ending. Great job!
08/20/09
This is very good. It held my attention to the last word. Nice writing!
08/21/09
Breath! Breath! Breath! You tore my breath and my heart. Now maybe, others can see how us Daddies feel! But your final "Daddy" brought a tear to my eye. Yes!
08/24/09
I think this was a very well-written submission. It kept my attention through-out the entire story. I was drawn in from start to finish! Excellent writing! I was with the Daddy all the way and even felt his anxiety when he forced himself to stop long enough for a moment of focused prayer . This was a good point to make in the story and something we need to always remember in the heat of a distressing situation ...loved that this story's "daddy" remembered to focus and call out for his own "Daddy" to help them!Excellent writing!
~Cathy~
08/24/09
I enjoyed reading this story. The anxiety level you created was gripping. Your one word ending aptly finishes the story.
08/24/09
Very good, indeed. You told this suspenseful story like a pro! You have talent and I hope to read more of your work. You're on your way. Just the right mixture and a strong message.
Mona
Great suspense story. I was digging with your mc!
08/24/09
A very well-written story filled with intensity and capturing the hearts of the readers asking for more. Well done.
08/25/09
A well written and exciting story which I'm glad had a happy ending. Thanks - Colin
08/25/09
Good emotions and dialogue... great ending!
08/25/09
Excellent adventure story!! My heart is racing. Great writing, and I love the ending.
08/25/09
Whew! My heart rate went up reading this! Well written.
You did a really great job on this piece--held the reader right from the start to the end. Great!
08/26/09
Strong emotional connection with the main charaacter which keep the story moving, well done. One thing, and you probably know this but then again you might not: 'of it’s stability.' You only need the apostrophe when make it is into it's.
08/27/09
I agree with Bill...I had tears in my eyes when I finished reading the story, too. It is an excellent entry, I hope it does well. I look forward to seeing results in the morning. Good luck.
08/27/09
Huge Congratulations, Cherie!
08/27/09
Wonderful story...congrats on your win!
Amazing what you did in just 750 words! Simply extraordinary. Well done.