The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Oh, my your MC sounds just like a normal, American teen. I liked your story. Please leave some space between paragraphs to make your story easier to read and watch for changing tenses.
08/24/09
I agree with Patricia about the spacing, but I can really tell that you love the written word! This was a fun read, and definitely a good entry.

Keep up the great work.

May God bless!

Sincerely,
Dan Blankenship

08/25/09
This was great! "...the hatefully dependable little time-teller!" Very funny. Your timely message(sorry,couldn't resist the pun) about persecution is very nicely woven in.
08/27/09
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your entry. All of your characters were very realistic and believable.