The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/06/09
I liked your story and the dialogue. Started out humorous but ended on a sad note. I think I liked the humorous beginning the most.
08/09/09
An interesting slice of life in this piece. Don't be afraid to write close to the maximum word count of 750. I wanted to learn more about these children. Some scenery or mood descriptions would add to the well-written conversation.
08/13/09
I liked the dialogue and these childrens characters. I think looking at adults fromthe childs eye view was an original and interesting take for this topic.
I look forward to reading more of your work!