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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Adulthood (07/30/09)

TITLE: The Blue Line
By Laura Godson


The Blue Line

The handsome stranger watched Aimee intently from the edge of the crowded dance floor. His deliberate stare made the heat rise in her cheeks, but she refused to meet his gaze. Slowly he sleeked towards her. His very presence was alluring.

“Hello,” he said in a velvety, deep voice, “my name is Eric. Can I buy you a drink?” Aimee wanted to say no, she wanted to say that she didn’t belong in this place, she wanted to tell him she was under-age....instead she summoned all the maturity she had and managed to utter a confident, “Yes, that would be nice, thank you.”

She watched as he swaggered towards the bar. He was so different to any of the ‘boys’ she had known. He was a ‘man’. Self assured, poised, charismatic, everything she secretly wished she was, and was pretending to be. She couldn’t help feeling privileged that he had noticed ‘her’. She was pretty, but not stunning. She blended well and possessed no distinguishing features. ‘Average’ was a fitting description, yet for some indefinable reason he had an interest in her. She would have to be careful not to let her sixteen years show.

Returning he beckoned Aimee over to a dark corner. A persistent feeling told her to walk in the opposite direction, but his attention was intoxicating. Obediently she followed his lead. This was her first time in a nightclub. The beat of the music pulsated through her.

The atmosphere seemed so far away from the Christian up-bringing she was familiar with. For months the nagging desire to experience the ‘world’ had been enticing her to compromise. Now she had fully given in and was willing to open herself up to all its pleasures.

Paul pressed himself against her. She could see the lust in his eyes. Everything she had learned about its selfish nature no longer mattered....he wanted her, she wanted him. Silencing her convictions she felt his lips brush against hers. They felt warm and soft. She felt powerless to stop him. Her head spun in a haze of sensation...pleasure and pain, mingled with confusion. Was she really ready for any of this? She was ‘mature for her age’ or so she had been told many times.....anyway what did it matter, it was happening, ready or not, right or wrong, she didn’t care...and then it was over.

He smiled at her. She looked into his eyes willing him to say something....anything that would stop her from feeling so used....anything that would make her think it had been worthwhile. Eric lent down, kissed her on the cheek and whispered in a care-free tone, “Thank you, see ya around chick.” Was that it? Was that all he was going to say? She had given him something so precious and it had meant absolutely nothing to him. His deep, velvet voice filled with flattery had turned into a mocking laugh as he turned and strode off. Tears rolled down her cheeks, she couldn’t stop them, nor did she try to. She had to get out of this place. She felt smothered in chaos.

Squeezing through the crowd, she made her way to the exit. Outside she ran to a parked cab. In a quivering voice she told the driver her address and got in. Crumpled in the backseat she sobbed quietly. Turning the corner of her street, a sense of panic struck her. What would her parents say? They would be heart-broken. They had loved her so well, taught her by godly example, and had always been there for her. How could she have thought she was missing out? Why had she not chosen to remember all their wise advice? How could she have been so stupid? With a deep breath she composed herself, and resolved never to tell them of this night.

The weeks passed. Something was not right. She began to worry as sickness over-whelmed her each morning. Reluctantly she decided to ‘TAKE THE TEST!’..... It was POSITIVE! She was PREGNANT! She wanted to scream and cry hysterically. With the appearance of one blue line on a plastic white stick, her teenage years had come to an abrupt end.

Sitting on the side of the bath her mind raced. Then she remembered the One who had never let her down, the One who would never leave her or forsake her. She bowed her head and prayed, “Lord help me,” and somehow she knew He would. Thrust into adulthood, she knew she would cope.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Jackie Wilson08/06/09
Your writing expressed the girl's feelings very well.
(I assumed Eric and Paul are the same guy?)
Gregory Kane08/07/09
I was wondering all the way through what the blue line was - guess that comes from being male!
What a demeaning way to have your first sexual experience - in some dark, uncomfortable corner of a noisy nightclub with a man who saw you as nothing more than a piece of meat. Vividly expressed.
Bryan Rudolph08/10/09
Ok, the meaning behind your title is intriguing and the resulting discovery satisfying, but what a captivatingly descriptive story! My only disappointment is that the rapid succession of unfolding of events concluded far too abruptly [shackled by the 750 stop sign, I understand]. Aimee, like her author, is someone we certainly hope finds further future creative expression. Bryan. 10Aug09Mon.