The Official Writing Challenge
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07/30/09
This was a cute story and gave this reader pause to think about any bitterness or resentment in my own heart. There are a few things you should remember, if I may: When characters speak, you need to give them each their own space to talk; in other words, if Grandma is talking, let her speak, but do not have Elizabeth answer her in the same paragraph. Speaking of paragraphs, be sure to double space the paragraphs; it makes reading the story much easier. And lastly, whenever you are using quotes, be sure to put the second quote marks after the punctuation. Good story.
07/31/09
That was very good, really gave me a depth of understanding of the characters in such a short space.
I also confess to loving the word ruminate, and anything with Zombies in it can't be bad!!!
07/31/09
Something to that saying about taking time to smell the roses...or gaze at strange bugs:)...all of creation speaks of His truth and His glory...I loved how you used this story to demonstrate that and I believe draw the reader into self examination. Thanks!
08/01/09
I enjoyed your story. Good message.
08/30/09
Great story Deanna, for bringing out how God can 'bug' us with unexpected answers to prayer.
Though you let an apostrophe trespass on a plural, and you needed more paragraphs, your story was full of life and light. Thanks also for mentioning 60s rock band "The Zombies," for I've just enjoyed a YouTube clip of "She's Not There," the only song I remember them for.