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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Spring (the season) (07/23/09)

TITLE: The following
By Paul Brown
07/28/09


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It was spring, (this season) that I searched Josh’ bedroom for a book, which previously was mine. But all that was about to change when my new find stopped me in my tracks.

I had been pretty amazed myself, but it wasn’t so bad that he couldn’t tell anyone and I was the first to admit that it was a sensitive subject, or at least can be. How he kept it quiet from us and why? I don’t know.

Life at home hadn’t been great of late but keeping something as quiet as this is like having a fear and I’m sure our parents would understand. Whatever was going on in his head may not be what is in his heart and if he is doing what it looks like, you have to be focused.

It was obvious by the small square piece of paper in his side cabinet draw that he had obviously felt immoral wickedness in his life, he was a happy outgoing person and just recently he’d become more quiet and not his usual self.

I started to worry about him and being his older brother I had always been there for him, was I not doing my brotherly duties? Had there been mishap at school that I didn’t know about?

Why couldn’t he tell me?

I have always kept a close eye out for him and I suppose now this was his way of making it on his own. I hold my hands up to him, if that’s what he is attempting, but it feels like I’m being pushed out to some degree. Most of the things in his room had actually belonged to me at some point and even though I was in need of information that the little red book could supply me with, I wasn’t in any hurry for it but Josh needed me now and I reckoned his need was greater than mine.

Although the situation I have been thrown into was not unspeakable, I wasn’t sure how to tell mum. The stuff I had found of his, I took into my bedroom and was going to hide it but my intrigue got the better of me so I began reading parts of the small black-leather sacred book.

My own thoughts were asking questions like why couldn’t he consult us, his family? Had we not been there for him when he needed us?

He was even leaving the house without informing mum where he was going, if he doesn’t let me know when he returns, I’m going to start following him. Dad noticed the change in his attitudes first and asked me to speak with him.

I had become uncertain of what to say or do for that matter but now things were different and that piece of paper I found was my concern. The worrying part was the word Satan. Was he being attacked by the master of wickedness? I certainly haven’t noticed anything to claim that belief.

Knowing that it wouldn’t be long before my little brother came strolling through the front door like nothings wrong. I sat in the kitchen and watched the minute hand tick by on the white clock above the cooker. My head span with questions of what I had or haven’t said to him.

Josh was intelligent enough to know right from wrong but I was more interested in what could be playing tricks with his mind than sorting out my love life. I heard the gate open and taking into consideration that a whole hour had passed, I opened the door to greet him so that we could have a talk before mum and dad had chance to have their say. Josh thanked me and slapped my shoulder.

‘I’ve found God Bobby.’

‘What’s this got to do with it?’ I asked holding the piece of paper.

‘Nothing. Really! It’s just study notes from church.’

All that stress and worry flew out of the window. My relief was great. I couldn’t stop the words that followed.

‘When you next go, I’m coming with you?’

‘Yeah sure bro.’ He smiled. ‘Ok. It’s a deal. Thank God for miracles hey Bobby.’


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Member Comments
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Jeanne E Webster 08/01/09

Your story reminds us that as Christians, we must remember that others are watching our behavior. Sometimes God uses family and friends to point us in the direction of His Spirit. Good point to remember!

I had difficulty putting the story plot line together. At one time you have fears that Josh is in trouble, yet later he's telling you he has found God. Inconsistancy there.

Hone up on grammar skills and perhaps working up an outline will help your story follow through more smoothly.

Keep writing and working it out.