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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Spring (the season) (07/23/09)

TITLE: Beyond Sight
By Tracy Pereira


“This is my worst spring break ever!”, said Maya to Susan, as she parked her car outside the old age home.

Maya and Susan had planned for an amazing holiday, but a few days before , these rude highschoolers disrespected their neighbour’s grandma, making fun of her old age. So, instead of grounding her, Maya’s mom, a tough woman who took pride in teaching her children to do the right thing, decided to send her to volunteer at a local old age home for the entire break!

Maya was bummed , but had no choice. Susan went with her.

“Welcome”, a lady with a smile greeted them . This was going to be a nightmare , they thought as they walked past the garden towards some rooms with a beautiful porch outside that had comfortable chairs, with old men and women sitting, some having tea, while others chatted or laughed , while some knitted sweaters for their grandchildren.

Maya and Susan greeted them. However, there was one lady who caught their attention....she was sitting by a window inside her room staring outside with a smile on her face. “Don’t go in”, said an old man out loud. “She is sick and is not allowed to come out for a while”.

“Oh , please Frederick, it’s so beautiful”, the old woman smiled. “My name is Catherine”, she said to the girls. “We are Maya and Susan, nice to meet you”.

“Nice to meet you too darlings, I know you can’t come in but I can tell you what’s outside” she said. “Sure”, they replied as they pulled up two chairs right outside her door.

“I see 2 children playing, one riding a bicycle, the other pushing him. There is an icecream truck too. Oh look, 2 squirrels just ran up that tree. The flowers in that garden are in full bloom. Purple, yellow, red….oh my those roses are so lovely”, she happily said. Maya and Susan smiled as it brought back memories of their own childhood. Catherine continued to tell them how beautiful it was as they imagined it.

Soon, it was time to go. Days passed and everyday they would come in and sit outside Catherine’s room as she told them about what she saw outside in this beautiful spring. It wasn’t such a bad experience after all, they thought.

Soon enough, the last day arrived. As they approached Catherine’s room, everyone was silent. They looked in the room and her bed was empty. The chair by the window was empty too.

“She passed away late last night. She was a wonderful lady. But after she became completely blind following an accident 20years ago, it was never the same”, said Frederick, as he comforted them.

“Blind?”, thought Maya and Susan,looking questioningly at the old man...What did he mean ..Blind..

They ran to her window, tears rolling down their cheeks….All they saw was a huge dumpster outside. No garden, no children,…no squirrels….no colors…no icecream truck...just a dirty old dumpster!
They started to sob.

This old lady had taught them an amazing lesson…..That life is beautiful and should be appreciated every moment that you live it. That you don’t need eyes to love and be thankful for what God has blessed you with…..Make the most of the time you have.

This had turned out to be their best spring break………..what they had just experienced would change their lives forever….

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This article has been read 285 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dawne Biggs07/30/09
Loved the story! There are lessons to be learned all around us, in every season! Good job.
Laura Manley07/30/09
This is a very sweet, loving, and well-written story. I had no idea it was leading to where you took it. Nicely done! There are a couple of things that I feel I should point out, those being: In using quotes, the second quote should always follow the punctuation - In several sentences, you have not put the comma in a sentence flush up against the word as it should be and finally, in one of your sentences, you have used both numbers written out and just a number, which is not only incorrect, but distracting to the reader. Thank you for sharing. Laura
nayiba yavala07/31/09
And your story has changed mine too forever! Thanks.
Darlene Casino 08/03/09
This was a great story and a pleasure to read. The ending was a special treat,
Laury Hubrich 08/03/09
You did a nice job telling this story. One thing that will help you move on in your writing is to read other levels or watch in books how they handle dialogue. That's how I learned the best. Keep on writing.
diana kay08/04/09
Very clever story. An original take on the theme. I think you should have used a seperate line for each persons speech rather than running them toghther as it gets a little confusing as to who is speaking. I do think the fact that the old lady's descriptions as to what was outside was beleived by the youngsters was a little unrealistic afterall they had BEEN outside but it was a clever way to try and craft the story