The Official Writing Challenge
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07/30/09
Loved the story! There are lessons to be learned all around us, in every season! Good job.
07/30/09
This is a very sweet, loving, and well-written story. I had no idea it was leading to where you took it. Nicely done! There are a couple of things that I feel I should point out, those being: In using quotes, the second quote should always follow the punctuation - In several sentences, you have not put the comma in a sentence flush up against the word as it should be and finally, in one of your sentences, you have used both numbers written out and just a number, which is not only incorrect, but distracting to the reader. Thank you for sharing. Laura
07/31/09
And your story has changed mine too forever! Thanks.
08/03/09
This was a great story and a pleasure to read. The ending was a special treat,
08/03/09
You did a nice job telling this story. One thing that will help you move on in your writing is to read other levels or watch in books how they handle dialogue. That's how I learned the best. Keep on writing.
08/04/09
Very clever story. An original take on the theme. I think you should have used a seperate line for each persons speech rather than running them toghther as it gets a little confusing as to who is speaking. I do think the fact that the old lady's descriptions as to what was outside was beleived by the youngsters was a little unrealistic afterall they had BEEN outside but it was a clever way to try and craft the story