The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/23/09
Oh, good story!

I felt the ending was a tad bit weak. It didn't pack quite the "punch" I was expecting. Perhaps try ending it with some dialogue?

A great message, which was presented well! Great job.
07/24/09
This story kept the reader's interest throughout; however, I would like to have seen a bit more dialogue in the story. When you are using quotes, the second set of quotes are always on the outside of the punctuation. Thanks for sharing. Laura
07/27/09
a good story. I loved the vacant eyes link up to the band and the state of the son. Every parents nightmare but also a little unreal at times. How did the son get to his room without her knowing.? Maybe you could have explored the mums mixed feelings about her son. Alcohol is now such a big problem especially in the UK.I am pleased this young man survived.