The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/23/09
A little confusing at times to follow her words and thoughts, some italics would help to straighten that out.

It's too true too often that girls today sacrifice common sense to fit in or keep the status quo they've created for themselves. This was shown pretty well here, but I wish I would have known her name. ^_^

nice job!
07/24/09
Your story kept the reader's interest to the very end; however, I was a little confused in some areas. Basically though, you did a good job. Thanks for sharing.
07/25/09
Interesting story with good expression of the fear and despair of the young girl.
Very nice job beginning your story with "It does not matter how we feel, as long as we look good on the outside." You summed up modern (and not so modern) teen feelings very well. I also thought you kept the tension up well and kept me reading. Nice job and please keep on writing!