Happiness should be more then a fleeting thing, At least I think it should last more then just a minute, don’t you? This is a thought I have been pondering on almost all my life, and I have concluded, no one is happy. That is right happiness is a farce.
My name is Moonbeam, yes I know. In addition to everything, my parents named me two hippie’s types who even lived in a commune when I was born.
That is all very well and good for them, but did they think what it was going to be like for me? Here I am almost middle aged and people are calling me “Moon” Do not think it does not get annoying, I tell you.
I mean, people look at me and say, shouldn’t you be in the sky or something and laugh. They think it is funny. Let me warn you parents about naming your kids. Think about how cute “sunny” sounds at 50.
I think about my mom sometimes. She was so very pretty, and her hair was long. She used to play the gituar for me and my sisters: She would play and sing. She would burst into song at the very least provacation, just standing in the kitchen washing dishes and she would start singing some song that she said glorified God. whatever that meant.
I grew up with the God stuff, but as soon as I go out of the house, I forgot it.
Do not look at me like that, you know God never did anything for anyone, if He cared my Dad would not have died and my sister either, Gods plans HUMP, Gods folly I call it. My mom stopped singing after that. It was Gods fault.
God I supposed had His reasons for what He did, letting my Dad die I mean.
However, I will never understand it,
Well, my mother died a few weeks ago, and I was still angry. I felt so very empty! She was happy to be going to God. However, to me why would God take her from all the things she loves on this earth? She of course wanted me to say I believed but I do not! However, I said it; just to please her so she would die happy and I promise to read my Bible for a little while, I thought what would it hurt?
Well, what would it hurt? Mom dies happy and I go on living my life my way.
I think this Bible has some kind of effect you know? Because when I read it, I can’t put it down. It says things like God loves me, and He forgives me all of my sins.
I shudder to think He has nothing else to do but forgive my sins; I have a million of them. But…I don’t know all of the things my mom has been telling me is in here. She is right I feel a little better when I read this and somewhat happier to.
So I tried praying, I asked God why He took my dad away, I understood my mother. She was suffering hard with cancer. However, my Dad was young and vital. I still don’t have an answer, it seems though He asked me to trust Him.
God speaking to me was not something I ever thought about so I took off and hurried to the nearest church, and asked to speak to the Pastor, knowing full well he would be to busy to se me. Besides, I hadn’t any money, so why would he talk to me?
However, when Go is working on you, H is really working on you. The Pastor not only was available but he sat right down with me and answered all of my questions. The HE prayed for ME.
Well, no getting out of that and I did feel better but I wasn’t ready just yet to tell them I was changing. I wanted to check this out just a little more.
Therefore, I went home, and prayed myself, and then God and I talked. No formal prayers mind you, we just talked. Then I decided I wanted Him for a friend after all.
So that’s the story of a Moonbeam changed with the love of God. Happiness is not a fleeting thing; it’s in the peace of God.
Once I was lost now I see, Once I was empty now I am full
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