The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/16/09
I love your title and the end of the story. It's a good description of someone being led to the Lord, but I think it would have been more powerful if you had told us more about the two characters to lead up to the moment of sharing. When Cindi started to share the gospel it seemed a bit abrupt.
06/16/09
Mmm... a story of inner transformation. My favorite kind.

Noticed a couple places that you slipped into past tense instead of present. ;)

I liked the girls talking with each other, and though the exchange was simple and did not go into depth, the point was proven. Have you considered writing this into a longer story, perhaps adding more details to the lives of these two girls?

Good job!