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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Bitter and Sweet (05/28/09)

TITLE: Stymied
By Beth B
06/02/09


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Cassandra grabbed the door handle. ďMo Ö,Ē she started to yell. No response. She rummaged through her purse and found the keys. She let herself in. She leaned against the door and stared into space. She raised her hand to her mouth and started to cry. Pulling a tissue from her pocket, she dabbed her eyes Ö

I donít know where to go with this story. Ever been there? The bitter is that Cassandra recently lost her mother. What could be sweet about that? Hey, wait a minute; I thought my passion was writing for children. This isnít a childrenís story. But this beginning has remained with me for days. What will grasp you the reader? What will keep you intrigued to the end? News flash - the dreaded deadline! What if the words donít come? Will it get finished? Lord, help!

Be creative. Hook them right away. Make sure you use dialogue. Show; donít tell. The deadline is quickly approaching. Two ideas and I donít know which one to select. Talk about double-minded.

It was a cold night. Cupping his hands, he rubbed them while sitting on the park bench. He never saw this day coming. He had been in foster care since a young child. He was shuffled from home to home. He had aged out of the system. Now what was he to do? He attempted to find work, but without a birth certificate he was unsuccessful. He needed proof that he was who he claimed to be. Who could he turn too?

This is redundant, but have you ever been there? Youíre stuck. The words donít flow. You have an idea, but the pieces donít come together.Youíre smiling, arenít you? You can SO relate. Youíve been there. Iím glad Iím not the only one. Now if Iíd just quit revising, revising, revising and send it!


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This article has been read 285 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jeanne E Webster 06/08/09
Yep, we've been there! No reminder needed! :)

In both starts, you use too many pronouns. She...she...she...he...he...

Cinch up some sentences and get to writing... :)
Sara Harricharan 06/08/09
LOL! Who can't relate to this! I certainly know how it goes, try to read it backwards next time. If that doesn't jumpstart a stuck point-I don't know what does. Nice way to tackle the topic!