The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/07/09
I can hear your bitter grief for the loss of your dear sister. So sad.

A bit of work on the rhyme and meter to make for a smoother read.

A good job of writing!
06/08/09
Hmmm, nicely done. I think if you have a specific format (two lines, four lines, or something inbetween, etc) it might carry more impact. I liked how you had the repition of sweet and then bitter. Really well done, keep it up!
06/10/09
good idea for this subject. I can feel the mix of emotions in this