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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Light and Dark (05/21/09)

TITLE: Through lost life, sight is gained
By Nikki Raney
05/26/09


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One hundred fifty seven, fifty eight, fifty nine... One sixty, one sixty one, one sixty...
“Honey, what are you thinking about?” The soft and tender voice of her husband startled Sandra from her thoughts, causing her to jump and momentarily lose her breath. It hadn’t been the first time over the last few weeks that she had been abruptly shaken from her wondering mind. These days, it seemed easier to let her thoughts escape to a world of meaningless detail, than to face the grim reality of the present life she was being forced to live in.
“I’m not thinking about anything in particular. Just counting cars.”
“I just want you to know that I’m here if you want to...”
“Mitchell, I really don’t want to talk, okay,” Sandra interrupted, finding herself somewhat annoyed by the very voice that, at one time, comforted and reassured her in times of discontentment. She knew he meant well, but she just didn’t feel like talking about it anymore. She didn’t even want to think about it. She concentrated hard on thinking back to a happier time in the not-so-distant past...
She remembered running through the yard, with Allie running ahead of her. She was attempting to catch a blue and yellow butterfly that had just taken flight off of her forehead. Her brown curls and big hazel eyes danced in the sunlight and her sweet chuckle trailed through the yard. Allie loved butterflies. She had always said she hoped that God would let butterflies into heaven. “That way, me and Jesus can spend forever chasing them through the skies. Then,” she would say, so certain of herself, “heaven would be perfect.”
“Sandra?” Mitch’s hand touched her leg. “Still counting cars?”
“Sorry. I guess I was caught in a day dream.” Sandra opened the door and stepped out of the car, silently wiping a tear away, as she realized that all it was, was just that... A dream. Simply a memory of a time she would never get back.
Her heart started to pound. A lump began forming in the depths of her throat. Sweat moistened the palms of her hands. After a few short phone conversations and over 700 miles of driving, here they were, at the park, waiting to meet the little girl Mitchell was certain would bring a sense of closure to his wife.
“Hi, I’m Kendra. It’s so nice to finally meet you.” Her arms wrapped tightly around Sandra. “I don’t know what to say... Thank you so much. Your decision to donate your daughter’s corneas has given Marissa a new outlook on life.” Through the tears, Sandra forced a smile. “We’re so glad that something good could come out of the painful loss of our daughter,” replied Mitch. “So where is your little girl,” Sandra asked. “Oh, of course!” Kendra pointed and nodded her head in a direction off to the left of Sandra, all the while chuckling, as she said, “It’s amazing, what littlest things Marissa has enjoyed since she’s been able to see clearly.” Sandra’s eyes followed in the direction Kendra was pointing, and what she saw took her breath away. There was Marissa... A little blonde hair, blue eyed beauty, jumping up and down, laughing loudly, as she tried to catch the multi-colored butterfly fluttering high above her head.
Sandra smiled as she wiped a tear away. Mitchell put his arm around her, and kissed her forehead. They both closed their eyes and looked toward the sky. Today was the first day of a new world, for everyone.


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This article has been read 345 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CJ Raney05/28/09
Great Job! The details bring the story to life.
Joy Faire Stewart05/30/09
"...she hoped that God would let butterflies into heaven. That way, me and Jesus can spend forever chasing them through the skies." Beautiful!

Excellent writing building to the conclusion.
Jan Ackerson 06/01/09
Lovely, tender story.

For your readers' sake, an extra space between paragraphs would be greatly appreciated!

I loved the plot arc here--very nice!
diana kay06/04/09
an interesting and poignient story. In the UK the law does not allow familiers of donors to meet the recepients.