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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Light and Dark (05/21/09)

TITLE: The Way Out
By lynn potter
05/24/09


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The Way Out


She is searching, seeking, groping, hands stained with blood from days of prodding through the long dark tunnels. Straining to feel anything but pain from the cuts and bruises, she cries into the stillness covered in darkness.

“What is this place? How did I get here? Is there any way out?” She cries silently, long ago losing the strength to make any sound.
Knees torn from crawling over broken glass and jagged rock limit her progress.

“Water, I must find water!”

Gasping for air she collapses.

In the distance, there is a faint sound. She lifts her head slightly in anticipation. “Is there someone there?” A silent cry echoes from her heart. “Weak, I am so weak.” In defeat, she lays down awaiting death. Darkness surrounds her tattered body as she fights succumbing to it’s call.

In the distance, He moves, determined to rescue. He steps are sure. With a lantern in His hand, He advances toward her. He softly sings. Slowly, precisely, He moves through the corridors of her heart picking up broken pieces along the way.

He lifts each broken piece and breathes on it. It is made whole and becomes gold. The gold He places in His cloak where it is turned into water. He moves on with precision. His robe flowing to the beat of His breath, He sings love songs. The water pours from the right side of His cloak.

She lifts her head. She is delirious. “What is it that I see? Have I finally gone crazy?” She lifts her weak hand toward a tiny light in the distance. Her gaze is fixed.

“Surely I have gone mad in this place.” Her thoughts are interrupted by a silhouette entering her darkness. There is a light. There is a pitcher of water. “Do I see a Man?”

“Fear not, I AM.”

She feels strength pour into her body as the words fill her ears.
Responding she asks, “Who are you?”

“I AM”

He pours the water over her and she rises. Their eyes meet. Light fills the tunnel. He reaches for her hand. Together they leave.

There is no more darkness. The King has come.


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This article has been read 324 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 05/31/09
Good allegory!

Be careful of it's--with the apostrophe, it means it is. If you want the possessive, there's no apostrophe (think of his and hers to help you remember).

Even though this was clearly allegorical, I'd have really enjoyed some more details about your characters and your setting. Your writing is very good.
Brenda Rice 05/31/09
Hallelujah! The Lord has come. What a great presentation of this eternal truth.

I enjoyed your writing very much. Do it again.
diana kay06/03/09
Good story! I think i would have liked it to be a real rescuer with a light rather than the story disolving into fantasy but that is because I prefer that syyle of writing and I think that is where it was leading and so was dissappointed when it turned.