The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/28/09
Your last lines carry a lot of impact and a good twist to this story, I think if you'd dropped a few more hints about Stew etc, earlier in the story, it would've carried a much biggger kick of an ending. otherwise, still a good story, thanks for sharing.
05/29/09
Both heartbreaking and heartwarming--thanks for this story!

FYI--I believe Shangri La is two words.

Love the little epilogue, and the fact that the men's races were insignificant in their friendship.
You write in a very engaging, believable way. Your dialogue was very good and I really like the way you used elements of nature to bring us into the mind of your MC. I agree about the hints regarding the color of the skin; and I think introducing it in a subtle way at the beginning would add depth to the friendship of both your characters. Nice job!
I thought I was reading from a page out of a book. Good story line.

In my humble opinion, I think you should not be writing at the level designated for novice writers. Your writing is polished enough to graduate to the next level at least.

I'd like to read more of your work, so keep writing and polishing your craft.
06/03/09
Great story, and I don't doubt there are many more where that came from.