The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/28/09
You had me thinking you were blind, not unborn! Wow! What a twist!

Edit your piece, especially sentence structure, punctuation, and capitalize names for smoother reading.

All in all, you're a good writer and should be in a higher category!
05/28/09
Good job. Good story. I figured out where you were going about half-way through here, but I love the new take on this POV. A few typos like "her gentile frame" I think was supposed to be "gentle" and about the monkey bars, should have been "can't". But this is pretty good! I like it. Good job!
Good job. I was fooled too thinking the child was blind but not unborn. Great descriptioins and flow of story. I liked this one.
Like the others before me you had me thinking either you or a child of yours was blind, but about halfway I saw where you were going. Let me say I think you went there quite well. I really enjoyed this.
I loved your article, "Now I know"! It's captivating. Thank you very much. I hope you win! God bless you.

Psalm 139
05/29/09
As a soon-to-be grandma, I enjoyed this look into how my not-yet-born granddaughter perceives her world.

Some comma and other punctuation faults to be cleaned up, but this is a delightful story.
This was very creative. I liked it very much, although it felt to me that the MC was quite "old" or "advanced" with the language. Again, it could just be me.

Wonderful job.
Nice narrative, with an innocent voice that was very believable. I agree with the grammar and punctuation needing to be cleaned up. I would recommend "Elements of Style" by EB White. It's a great little book well worth the investment!
05/31/09
Wow, how marvelous! Your article is inticing and so easily read. I realln enjoyed it.
Very creative. I agree with the other comments about the grammatical errors, but I still liked your story. Keep writing and developing your gift!
06/03/09
I like this very clever. I think maybe the ending was a bit drawn out but I too like the others started thinking this was a blind child not a baby inside the mothers womb