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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Light and Dark (05/21/09)

TITLE: Now I Know
By Gordon Lavoie
05/21/09


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If you have never seen light, you have no concept of what darkness is. Even though darkness, is all you ever have seen. I have never seen light, I don’t even know if I’ve seen darkness, for I have never seen anything. I don’t even understand what sight is. The only reason I know anything about it at all, is because mom tells me about it. I just don’t know.

There are things I do know. I know mom and dad love me. Daddy speaks to me, I so enjoy hearing that deep voice. He is forever saying silly stuff though, and joking with me. I think he thinks he’s witty. Daddy is so silly, but he does love me, and I love him. Mom is different, she is always talking to me seriously, earnestly, explaining things, she tells me how dad is so strong and handsome, (he has a moustache now, you know). She describes how grandma looks, her gentile frame, the graying hair, and (what mom calls, love lines,) in her face. She also tells me all about her younger sister who is usually off at school, mom calls her “my auntie Susan.” Mommy says that she has enormous bright eyes, a magnificent wonderful smile, and glorious dimples.

I think momma pretty well takes me everywhere she goes. My favorite though, is the park, she tells me all about the trees, the kids playing on swings, the pool, and something called monkey bars. (I can quite comprehend that one.) She tries to explain sky, and the sun, and clouds. Clouds, that‘s a tough one too, they must be so pretty. She reads to me also, stories mostly, the Bible, she loves the psalms. Furthermore, she sings to me constantly. Mostly, those songs I hear when we go to church. Oh how I love it when we go to church, so much attention, and the singing is so beautiful. God must look wonderful.

Today started out as others, but I fear something is wrong. Mom is so restless, nervous, fearful even. I’ve never felt her afraid before. I feel differently too, much different than I’ve ever felt previously, I feel trapped, agitated, impatient. I don’t understand, people are speaking too loud, and it‘s cold, and. What is happening? Something’s bright, my eyes, they hurt. Light? I see light. It’s not like dark at all. The man is holding me, where’s mamma? He’s cutting my…… Ow! He just hit me……….“Whaa” -- “Whaaa”

“Congratulations Cecile, it’s a girl, a beautiful baby girl”
Who is this man? There are people everywhere.
“Didn’t I tell you Cecile, ( just like your mom ), it all worked out fine.”

“Her name is Susan, Dr. Hart. I named her after my sister”
I know that voice.
“She‘s going to be a teacher, she graduates in just three days from now.”
Your sister?
“Sue and grandma are outside Suzie, you’ll see them soon.”
It sounds so different, but I know that voice. -- Let me go! Where am I? ….. “Whaaa”
“Oh! Suzie, come to mommy.” …. “Nurse, may I ?”
“Here she is, you can nurse her now if you want.”

Oh! --- Oh my, it’s my mommy. It’s mommy!
I’m on her outside. Oh, mommy. I can see you mommy,
Is that daddy? What is this, this is so good.
Never mind daddy, daddy can wait, I like this.
I remember mommy trying to explain food. I didn’t understand.
Now I know.


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This article has been read 370 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jeanne E Webster 05/28/09
You had me thinking you were blind, not unborn! Wow! What a twist!

Edit your piece, especially sentence structure, punctuation, and capitalize names for smoother reading.

All in all, you're a good writer and should be in a higher category!
Sara Harricharan 05/28/09
Good job. Good story. I figured out where you were going about half-way through here, but I love the new take on this POV. A few typos like "her gentile frame" I think was supposed to be "gentle" and about the monkey bars, should have been "can't". But this is pretty good! I like it. Good job!
Janice Fitzpatrick05/28/09
Good job. I was fooled too thinking the child was blind but not unborn. Great descriptioins and flow of story. I liked this one.
Marylea Monroe05/28/09
Like the others before me you had me thinking either you or a child of yours was blind, but about halfway I saw where you were going. Let me say I think you went there quite well. I really enjoyed this.
Mary Knoll Santos05/29/09
I loved your article, "Now I know"! It's captivating. Thank you very much. I hope you win! God bless you.

Psalm 139
Jan Ackerson 05/29/09
As a soon-to-be grandma, I enjoyed this look into how my not-yet-born granddaughter perceives her world.

Some comma and other punctuation faults to be cleaned up, but this is a delightful story.
Karlene Jacobsen 05/29/09
This was very creative. I liked it very much, although it felt to me that the MC was quite "old" or "advanced" with the language. Again, it could just be me.

Wonderful job.
Loren T. Lowery05/29/09
Nice narrative, with an innocent voice that was very believable. I agree with the grammar and punctuation needing to be cleaned up. I would recommend "Elements of Style" by EB White. It's a great little book well worth the investment!
Brenda Rice 05/31/09
Wow, how marvelous! Your article is inticing and so easily read. I realln enjoyed it.
Delores McCarter06/01/09
Very creative. I agree with the other comments about the grammatical errors, but I still liked your story. Keep writing and developing your gift!
diana kay06/03/09
I like this very clever. I think maybe the ending was a bit drawn out but I too like the others started thinking this was a blind child not a baby inside the mothers womb