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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Before and After (05/14/09)

TITLE: MY LUCK
By Bryan Rudolph
05/21/09


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Before and After



MY LUCK


And I;
What is my luck ?

Before I was conceived, God knew me;
After I was conceived, my mother knew of me.

Before I was born, my mother carried me;
After I was born, my mother held me.

Before I could walk, I had much out loud to say;
After I could walk, I wanted to have only my way.

Before my school years ended, I chose whenever, whatever, wherever, to play;
After my school years ended, I was told when, what, and where, to work.

Before my work years began, time passed slowly, much too quickly;
After my work years began, time passed quickly, much too slowly.

Before falling in love, my feelings were of my own;
After falling in love, my feelings were obsessively owned.

Before getting married, I experienced loneliness alone;
After getting married, I experienced aloneness together.

Before having children, I worried a lot;
After having children, I worried a lot more.

Before my retirement, I always had too much to do;
After my retirement, I never had to do too much.

Before my salvation, I was assured of what I knew;
After my salvation, I knew of what I was assured.

Before I died, the meaning of life was disputable;
After I died, the meaning of my life became irrevocable.

And you;
What is your luck ?


END


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Member Comments
Member Date
diana kay05/22/09
I like this peice of writing. It is a clever use of the before and after. I am not sure about the title and the first and last part about luck that doesnt fit in for me.
Alison Greenberg06/14/09
Hi Bryan,

I like the symmetry in this piece. It works well. You lead slowly up to a very good ending.

I appreciated your remarks on my "Crying in the middle of the night"piece. You were not alone in your assessment that the story ended too abruptly. I'm working on rewriting it as part of a short biography I'm writing on my own. You'll know a little more about it by reading "My life as a cat" parts one and two. It's hard for me to put all these short stories together into a coherent story; sometimes it's too painful to write about as well. I don't have a neat ending either because I'm still here, and still struggling! Thank you for your encouraging words.