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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Before and After (05/14/09)

TITLE: Moving On
By lynn potter


Moving On by Lynn Potter

“What’s happened here?”

Little Angel walked through the deserted streets wondering what had become of her birth place. Everywhere she looked there was no sign of life. Dust invaded her nostrils causing her to sneeze and cough. “No signs of rain here for years,” she said to no one.

Every storefront was either covered with boards or the windows
were shattered leaving the rooms inside open for vultures to help themselves to anything. She walked over to her favorite store, the place where she used to sit at the counter at old Mackenzie’s soda fountain. Here she would talk to him and tell him of her dreams while sipping on a cool chocolate soda.. She spent hours with the old man causing him to smile.

He always listened to her, hoping one day she would follow her dreams becoming who he knew she could be. Old Mr. Mackenzie sure was missed when he was gone. Little Angel smiled as she moved on down the street thinking of him. “Sure used to have good times in that place. He always made me feel special.”

As she rounded the corner looking for her fountain, she stopped , staring in unbelief. Where her fountain used to be there was nothing but a pile of rubble, the plumbing ripped up, and the beautiful rainbow of colored lights smashed to smithereens.

She gasped then toppled to the ground. “Who would have done such a thing? This was my place of refuge, the place I could always count on to come to for relief! What happened here?
Gut wrenching sobs filled the air as Little Angel spilled her grief all over the pile of rubble. She scooped up every broken stone bringing it to her heart. She cried buckets of tears over her precious fountain, cradling each stone.

As she sobbed, she felt a presence behind her. Startled, she cried out, “Mr. Mackenzie, how…?

“Be still, Little Angel. I have come to help you rebuild your fountain. I have never been gone from you, though you thought I was. I have watched over you as you journeyed through life trying to find your way. While you were wandering around, they came in and started destroying your fountain.”

“But who Mr. Mackenzie, I don’t understand! You left years ago. How is it that I see you now?”

“Little Angel, it is because you have come looking for water that you see me. I have always been here standing guard over your fountain waiting for you to return. I knew you would never be able to repair the damage yourself, so I have waited patiently. I knew you would come back.”

Little Angel stood and walked over to her beloved Mackenzie and hugged him with great big hugs. They laughed and cried together.

Mr. Mackenzie brushed the tears from Little Angel’s cheeks and planted a loving kiss upon her forehead. Together, hand in hand they walked over to the rubble.

“Mr. Mackenzie,” Little Angel curiously asked, “Who came in and destroyed my fountain while I was away?”

“My darling Little Angel, there are many things I want to tell you, but for now I just want to be with you and help you rebuild. Can you trust me on this?”
“Of course, Mr. Mackenzie. You were always my best friend.”

“Little Angel, I have something I have been saving for you for many years just waiting to share it with you.”

Mr. Mackenzie vanished from her sight and she sat there perplexed. Within a couple minutes he returned with the biggest chocolate soda she had ever seen. It had two straws in it and he sat down beside her. “Can I share this soda with you?”

“Sure Mr. Mackenzie, you’re the best friend I ever had. Thank you for watching over my fountain for me all this time. How can I ever repay you?”

“No need to repay, My sweet Little Angel. I have waited because I love you so much. Now that we are together again, I will let you in on the secret. Regret is what has destroyed your fountain, a little bit at a time until it was almost gone. You came back just in time.

“You will drink here once again as we rebuild together, but you must move on from the place of regret and follow me into your future.”

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Member Comments
Member Date
Sara Harricharan 05/21/09
A charming little story, with good characters. This would probably make a good children's story.

Just a tip-all challenge entries are supposed to be anonymous, next time, don't put your name at the top. It'll show up later by itself after the judging is done.

^_^ good job!
Jeanne E Webster 05/24/09
Quite an imagination! Thank you for an enjoyable read. Is the second chapter ready yet?! Blessings to you and keep writing.