Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Before and After (05/14/09)
TITLE: Completely Yours
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
The dark haired blue eyed muscular man who adores me fathers my two beautiful children, one son and one daughter. Our four bedroom ranch style home is near a park. On Saturdays, we spend our day swinging our children on swings and watch as they roll down grassy hills. The children never complain and always get along.
Emptiness will remain until I make this my reality. Broken relationship after broken relationship, rejection and failure, whatís the matter with me? The more I give the more I lose. Men proclaim their love for me and I believe them, giving them my body in exchange for empty words. They tell me how much they love me. Each time I believe them. Each time I expect a man to bring me happiness. Part of my soul dies with each relationship. Iím left with a deeper void manifested with regret and shame. The love I chase is a mirage.
That my immorality is destroying me does not faze me Ė until it ruins me. It leaves a heavy film of bitterness that blocks the light that Jesus died for me. Satan subtly made what is Biblically wrong seem right by using my emotions to control me. I do not receive Godís love. I could not love myself or others in a healthy way.
In my twenties, I repent. I surrender to God. Deep sorrow leads me to the cross. He forgives and forgets all of my wrong doing. I know I donít deserve it. I look ahead to what He has created me to be. Pursuing His love changes my perspective. He fills the emptiness. He teaches me that the only one I need to be whole is Him. Through prayer, His Word, and the willingness to receive what He has to offer, I start to see who I am in Christ. He is the only One who can complete me; no man is capable of giving me the unconditional love or loyalty that He gives. I receive Godís love and draw nearer to Him. I find my soul mate, Christ Jesus. Heís the only One who can make all the wrong in me right. Without Him, I am nothing. He shows me that my misery didnít come from my circumstances, but it came from my choices. And I had shut Him out.
Little by little, He reveals that I am beautifully created. His hands made me unique and perfect. My sense of self worth rises as I begin to see what He sees in me, a vessel full of purpose to glorify Him. My failures are not final; they do not define me. Instead, He uses them to reveal His greatness, a process of being transformed for His glory. Peace follows as I receive Godís love and give up my independence. My heart is changing. My mind is changed. And the need to be loved vanishes. I no longer yearn for the perfect man. Heís by my side. With God, I am not disappointed because I know that He works everything out for my good. Being whole in Christ gratifies. Iím filled with an indescribable joy that nobody can give or take away. I trust Him.
My priority is my oneness with Christ. He is worthy to be praised for all things; the world belongs to Him and everything in it. Change comes through prayer. The more I seek His face, the more I know Him. And the more I know Him, the more I love Him. His fulfillment is not for sale, itís free, but itís also a choice. I can be full of myself or full of Him. Itís the difference between darkness and light. And I choose light.
God fills the void that I searched so hard to fill. Emotion no longer masquerades truth. I wake up faithfully and say, ďLord, Your will be done,Ē including choosing a mate for me. If having a significant other is in His plan, then I know that it will come to pass in His time. He is in control.
Though my dream of a perfect man hasnít become my reality, Godís plan for me is always perfect. And by following Him, I can expect no less than what He promises in His Word, His everlasting love. No one can compare. I have more than I deserve, I have Jesus. And everyday is marvelous when I wake up to His face.
Christ fills everything in everyway. Ephesians 1:23b-NCV
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.