The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/14/09
A good core idea. I could see this becoming something much more. I liked the simple way you wrote this, it could be converted to a children's story with good potential.

Just remember to

add a few spaces

between lines

to make for easier reading and to put each speaker's words in "quotation marks" starting a new line each time the speaker changes, so the reader is never confused as to who is talking when. Thanks for sharing this!