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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Good and Bad (05/07/09)

TITLE: The Music Box
By stephanie erickson
05/09/09


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The Music Box

The open music box was tantalizing, almost hypnotizing as she listened to its mesmerizing music. Strangely the tiny ballerina that twirled just above the alluring sound was missing. She had gotten it from her favorite aunt as a birthday gift.


Suddenly, a scream broke her odd trance. She hurried to find the source of sound. There lying on the kitchen floor was her lifeless little brother. In his hand he was clutching the missing ballerina.


Sweat poured down her forehead as she awoke from her bad dream. The morning sunshine peaked in her bedroom window promising a good day; a sigh of relief escaped her lips. She was glad to be back in reality. She stretched her body then prepared to get out of bed when she abruptly stopped in fear. There on her nightstand was a beautiful music box with a small note, “Happy Birthday Tiffany, with much love,” signed Aunt Hazel.


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Member Comments
Member Date
diana kay05/15/09
a rather creepy story!
Amy Michelle Wiley 05/15/09
This is a fascinating start to a story. Good job with drawing us in. In the first line you mention tantalizing, hypnotizing, and mesmerizing--all similar ideas. Remember that with creative writing often less words provide more of an impact. This story is a clever way to show how something seemingly good can be a premonition of bad.