The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
LOVE the humor of this piece!! Went back to read it a second time--very funny!
05/08/09
Clever and comical.

Usually when objects are personified, there's a point, a lesson, a moral--I was expecting that here, and didn't really find it. I wonder if that would give your piece the oomph to put it over the top.

Your dialogus was entertaining and fun to read.

05/10/09
Cute dialog. I think I would have pushed Mr. Kraut out too. Pe-ew.