The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/08/09
I was very intrigued at the beginning of this poem, wondering what could have happened. Clever idea.

Try to avoid some common writing cliches: the "it was only a dream" ending, and in poetry, rhyming "love" and "above". You're a good writer--stretch to the next level of creativity!

The poem has an excellent message.
05/08/09
This was a really great poem. The change of rhythm bothered me on verse 10, (I think that is the one) They rhyming switched from one style to another. Other than that, I thought it was perfect! Good job!