The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 494 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
A moving story that makes one think! I felt myself carried along on the words, feeling the emotion and fear experienced by the boys. Well done!
05/10/09
Excellent writing, full of suspense.

Not sure I understand...was the man an angel? What did he do to Nathan and his brother? I'm a bit confused, as you seem to have an angel doing something which I don't think is in their job description. I could easily be mistaken, though...

Good title, well in keeping with the suspense and mystery of the story.
05/13/09
I enjoyed the "Stephen King" genre with some good, brooding atmosphere. But the angel executioner didn't ring true for me either. I felt that as it was his first offence, he should have been offered some grace.
I suspect your story would have worked better as a whole had you left the figure's identity vague and allowed the reader to come to their own conclusion.