The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 653 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is tender and I like the little suprise near the ending. At first I thought the mother was sick with an illness, but nothing that nine months won't cure.:0) Nice job. Other than shortening the paragraphs a bit this is a good read.:0) Cute!!
Good job of keeping the reader involved and in the dark until the end.
05/07/09
Waht a cute story! Thought it might have a sad ending until I read about "stopping for pickles and cherry ice cream." I won't let Susan know about the surprise. haha
The ending was such a relief! I got to the pickles and ice cream and simply knew! Beautiful story! Best Wishes with Baby Susan! :)
oowuh. I totally thought it was an ailment, sickeness. You numbed me on a surprise when you said, "oh i should be calling her now" (or something like that) I had thought her mom was dead. It felt like a miracle.
Thanks for that surprise.
05/10/09
Charming little story.

Watch out for using 'to' instead of 'too', and for those pesky comma splices.

Loved the bit with the pickles and cherry ice cream.
As stated already, I thought Mom had an ailment or something; at least until you interjected that Mom said it'll be ok and then the pickles and icecream. I don't know about anyone else, but you've GOT to be pregnant to want to mix those; Yukk. LOL.