The Official Writing Challenge
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Ah, romance. Nice story, but you need to put spaces after commas and periods. Keep up your writing!
04/26/09
I especially like your beginning sentence, it's very insiteful, very real. The rest of the story was also well-written and your descriptions were also clear and life-like.
I don't really feel qualified to give criticisms because I tend to be rather skeptical of romance in general, but I think perhaps you moved a little too quickly from Darl to the other man (I'm sorry, I don't remember his name and can't see the article right now).
On the whole, well done!
This is good and still has a lot of potential. I would suggest picking up a copy of EB White's "Elements of Style" to help with punctuation and grammar. It will make the piece easier to read and help it truly shine.