The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/01/05
The conversations between girls were good, conversations are so hard but these flowed well. The feelings of the girl who lost her passport seemed a little incongruous throughout the story. Maybe a longer prayer that God would intervene and a foreshadow of her anxiety that has to bow and trust in God, so that her statement to man at end would enduce a little more sympathetic relief in the reader. Good job.
God bless and keep writing.
08/02/05
I can see the developement here from a sense of loss or mistakes, to anxiety when things don't go our own way, and then to faith, and trusting the Lord--Proving God, and finally viola' we move on with spiritual growth. I liked it--It does look like you at first struggled with the beginning but began flowing mid-to end. God bless ya, littlelight
08/03/05
Good work -good characters :)
08/04/05
Good story to go with the theme!
08/04/05
You portrayed a normal incident (things like that happen to me all the time!) and a familiar relationship with the Lord very well! That He is an ever Presence to talk to at all times. Well done.
Good job at writing about an experience we can all identify with!
I especially liked the part about the man dissapearing near the end. Good job.
08/08/05
Lauren, as you already know, I'm delighted to see you with this first award. There are SO many entries in Level 1 these days, so to make it into 5th place really is a credit to you. Well done! Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)