The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Great story idea; I could picture this unfolding.
A little editing-you are writing in first person, but then tell what Alex was thinking ?
The title relates to the ending more than the crux of the story, and perhaps filed under a diff topic.
I would love to see this story
with a few more details about Mom's plight.
It's a keeper! Don't toss it because of no comments. I enjoyed reading it.
Point of View is a phrase that was totally foreign to me three months ago. I'm still not sure, but its got something to do with not being able to think what more than one person in a scene is thinking at a time.

I'm new so my comments arent much value, except I liked the story and I think its got potential. Keep working on it.
A very good story unfolding here - one in which we get an intimate picture of the main character(s). I had a little trouble with POV (point of view)from which the story was being told - 1st person versus omnipotent. That aside, I think you did an excellent job getting the reader into your story and caring about your characters.
Great story-line! I enjoyed reading from "beginning to end!" Keep writing!