The Official Writing Challenge
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04/17/09
How many young woman are lured in by false promises. With cell phones and computers it makes it easier for this to happen..sad but true. Good story.
04/18/09
That line about the "noose wrapping around me" is very descriptive. I think a lot of people have felt that noose.
04/20/09
I felt you built up the tension of her clandestine meeting very well. You portrayed the older male predator well too.
I felt your description of him physically was a bit disjointed and wasn't sure if she was actually thrilled by the catch or disappointed. I was a little confused too by the ending, whether she would find her way back or not. The song seemed a bit sudden and unconnected.
The strength of this piece was in your contrast of the heat of passion and the pits of regret and since that was your main aim, you hit it!
04/20/09
Oh, the heat of passion. Wish the young knew the best part is "the afterwards", the special feeling from knowing you are one as in marriage. So many get cheated...just like Satan to use this ever-ready tool.
You did a very good job of showing it.
Mona
04/21/09
Excellent--should be read by teen groups as a superb discussion-starter.
04/24/09
Hi Dena. I just wanted to leave a quick note to let you know your entry, "Swept Away," actually did very well in the Hot and Cold Challenge. Although you didn't receive an award, you made it into the Highest Rankings for Level 1, placing 8th in that Level. There were a lot of entries this week, and competition in Level 1 is always very intense, so well done.

If you'd like to check the highest rankings for yourself, you can find them here:
http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=25299

The highest rankings are posted every Thursday evening on the Message Boards.

Again, well done. :-)

Hope to see you at the FaithWriters' Conference in August.

With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)