The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
08/01/05
This was very unique, I believe it was very nicely portrayed. God bless ya, littlelight
08/02/05
I felt the despair of his not being able to get home at a time of supreme uncertainty. Keep up the good work.
08/02/05
I really liked this -just like when we have our salvation, we just can't sit there -we need to DO something :)
08/06/05
I like the tension here. I like the scene. The emotion is expressed fairly good as well. A little more polishing and just a little more focus on the central crisis and this is outta the park. Very good!
08/07/05
This is a good piece. Try to take the word 'you' out of it and make it all about the man.
08/07/05
I liked this, and could send tension and frustration it portrayed. I agree with Maxx (I think it was) about taking the 'you' out. I wonder if it would give a higher degree of frustration if it was written from the first person? Good job though!
08/07/05
Excellent! I can't imagine what it would feel like to be in that man's shoes, wondering about his family's safety. Good job!
08/07/05
I agree! Polish this up. It's great!