The Official Writing Challenge
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03/23/09
A simple but profound analogy. How true!
03/24/09
Oh wow. This was a great illustration and example!

Try some more "showing" or dialogue in the first part. Have the daughter calling out "Mom!" and give the mom's thoughts, rather than just telling us what's happening.

Great job overal1. Keep writing.
03/26/09
Congratulations on your highly commended. This is a very good devotional...great analogy.