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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Africa (03/05/09)

TITLE: Me Tarzan, You Jane?
By PamFord Davis


Over the years, we continue to see re-makes of the original Edgar Rice Burroughs’ “Tarzan” movies, including animation and a popular television series. Maybe it is time to dust off the script and re-cycle the dramatization again. I’m sure there would be a world of difference from the original cliff-hanger short features at movie matinees!

It would be a real challenge to locate a place in a jungle remote enough for Tarzan to call home. Civilization continues pushing deeper into the interior of Africa. Instead of swinging from vines, Tarzan would carefully balance his weight on expansion bridges.

What about the supporting cast, his beloved Jane, son Boy, and faithful chimp, Cheeta? How would they be portrayed today? Hollywood would likely decide a name change was a necessity for Jane. Simple names like Jane or Mary are being pulled from popular name choices. “Presto, chango!” Tarzan meets Chelsea in Africa, on assignment for a large London tabloid. She is a career woman, with a capital C! At their first meeting, she is turned off by his macho male attitude! Tarzan is left with his mouth gaping and total mental confusion. He has no idea what her lifelines are. They have names like “laptop, cell phone and iPod.” Whatever happened to drums and smoke signals?

Slowly the chemistry draws them together, or maybe it was because computer dating was ruled out. Chelsea decides to leave behind the London rat race. She is pushed way out of her comfort zone and is left to trust the instincts of her muscle man. From their union, a male child enters their love nest in the tree tops. Chelsea endured the inconvenience of a jungle pregnancy. She did not have an ultrasound to determine the sex of her baby, and Lamaze classes were out of the question. Poor Chelsea; she could not even send her husband to a fast-food restaurant for her midnight cravings! As she gently holds her newborn son, possible names for the boy swirl through her consciousness. Maybe he should be named Tarzan Jr. to carry on the family name or be named in honor of her father. Tarzan was the man of the tree house; his word was law. “His name is Boy!”

“Alright, whatever.”

“National Geographic” takes a scientific trip to Africa and ends up at the base of Tarzan’s tree home. After close investigation, they decide Cheeta is not in a protected environment. He must be tranquilized, tagged and transported to a far-off region with more chimps of his own kind. Tarzan grieves when Cheeta is not waiting for him at the end of a hard day wrestling crocodiles.

In conclusion, you will not find me waiting in the ticket line of a movie theatre for the premiere of coming Tarzan releases. Maybe Tarzan like the “Ford Edsel” has become extinct!

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This article has been read 809 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dee Yoder 03/12/09
Oh so funny! Unique take on the topic. I must admit that I've never given a thought to the politically correct "Tarzan". How funny that would be. Thanks for the laugh!
Charlie Comerford03/13/09
Hilarious idea! An authentic take on the topic.
Ruth Ann Moore03/13/09
Very funny story. I guess some things are better left alone. Thanks for the laugh.
Sharon Kane03/13/09
This put a smile on my face! Very creative.
Lynn Jacky 03/13/09
Hi Good writing - thanks I got a laugh too.
Lee Page03/14/09
Thanks, I needed a laugh.
Rachel Rudd 03/15/09
Very creative and well-written. Would be interesting to see what it would be like with some more dialogue added, but enjoyed the story. Good stuff! :)
Connie Dixon03/15/09
This was cute, and right on. I used to love the Tarzan movies. It would be fun to see a modern-day remake. Good writing.