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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Europe (excluding the United Kingdom) (02/19/09)

TITLE: Wide Awoke
By Iris Cockrell
02/21/09


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Today is going to be a great day. I cannot wait for Ira to call me. Although, he has been acting kind of strange for the last few days as if he has something he wants to tell me. Perhaps he is going to ask me to marry him. Yes, it has to be that. We have been dating for over a year now and I love him so much. Wow, me a bride I have already picked out my gown. It is a white vintage lace gown with a long lace train and the veil has delicate flowers that sparkle. It will be a garden wedding in late June. My bridesmaids will wear soft blue gowns and the gazebo will be adorned in white roses. The runner will have blue rose pedals scattered all over it. My boutique will be full of blue and white roses.

Ring, Ring, Hello, Hello Lilly how are you? I am doing well Ira. I will pick you up at noon is that ok, yes Ira that is fine see you at noon, Good bye Lilly, Bye Ira. Oh, what will I wear? Ira loves me in blue. I know I will wear my blue dress. I am so excited I just know he is proposing to me today.

Ding dong, Hi Ira, Hello Lilly are you ready. Yes, good I have a surprise in store for you. What is it? Just wait and see. Ira opened the door to his Jaguar convertible and helped me in. After he got in the car he reached over and gave me a beautiful red rose. Thank you Ira I said. He put the convertible top down; it was a beautiful sunny day, not a cloud in the sky. As we were driving down the street the cool breeze flowed through my hair, the scent of Ira’s cologne was so manly yet so calming to my soul, and I could smell love in the air.

Well, Lilly we are here. Ira the Eiffel Tower what a surprise. Ira got out of the car and opened the car door for me. He then opened the trunk of his car and took out a picnic basket and a blanket. Right then I just knew this would be the day he ask me to marry him. Come Lilly I have the perfect spot picked out for us today. Ira spreader the soft blanket out on the grass and helped me down so gently on it.

I opened the picnic basket and Ira said wait, let me. He took out two champagne glasses, a bottle of sparkling cider, big plump red and green grapes, and a wedge of smoke Gouda cheese and a loaf of French bread. My heart began to race; I could feel sweat beading on my nose. I told myself to breathe. Ira opened the sparkling cider and poured our glasses. He handed me a glass and said Lilly I want to tell you how much you mean to me.

Over this last year I realized you are the only one for me. Let us toast to us. We raised our glasses and Ira said to Lilly my love, to the most beautiful woman on this earth. Our love will last forever. Ira, this is so special thank you. Ira reached over and gently stroked my hair and said, I want to ask you something Lilly. I knew it. I said to myself here it comes the big question. Lilly, Lilly will you…. Lilly, Lilly wake up. Did you hear your alarm clock ringing? Get up you are going to be late for work. Lilly are you up.
Yes, I am up and wide awoke.


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This article has been read 366 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Karen Heslink02/26/09
Clever ending! I like the way you built anticipation into the story right up to the very end.

Try to remember to use quotation marks around the words your characters are actually saying. Sometimes it was hard to follow you story because I didn't know when someone was speaking and when it was just the narratrive part of the story.
Millicent Pat-Nwaoyo03/02/09
I like the story line. Apart from a few puntuations here and there,the story is lovely. keep writing.
Kellie Henningsen03/02/09
Your story held my interest. I just knew the ending was not going to be a proposal so wanted to keep reading to find out what happened.

Try to "bridge time" between settings maybe to help the story flow better and stay connected.

Keep writing!
Phyllis Inniss 03/02/09
I thought there would be a little more of Europe than the Eiffel Tower in your story, but of course it might depend on how much knowledge you have of that part of the world. Your writing, however, was creative and led the reader on to see how it would end.