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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: South America (02/05/09)

TITLE: I’M COMING BACK
By Iris Cockrell
02/10/09


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I awaken this morning to see the sun rising from the crack through my boarded window. The warmth of the sun touched my skin. How good it felt it felt, like mother’s hug in the morning. She would say, “Wake up Doctor Kentra time to meet your patients”. I would rise up and she would give me the biggest hug and say, “I love you Kentra”. As I looked around the one room I wondered, should I go to school today? I so want to go to school today. But, I am afraid all night gun shoots rang out all around me.

I dream of becoming a doctor one day. If mother was here she would say, “Come now wash your face and eat your breakfast you can’t be late for school”. You must learn as much as you can so you can be the doctor you dream of becoming. If father was here we would walk together his job was around the corner from my school. Father would say, “You are a smart girl Kentra”, you are going to be a doctor one day. Never let your dream die! Learn as much as you can in school everyday.

I want to go to school but I am so afraid they will come and take me away, just as they took mother and father. Mother was preparing breakfast for father and me. I was in the closet getting my shoes, and I heard a loud boom and men screaming “get down”, “get down on the floor now”. They broke the door down and took mother and father away. I hid in the closet under the chest and they did not find me. I stayed there for two days frighten and alone.

I prayed the pray I would hear mother pray in the wee hour of the morning. “Dear Lord, keep us safe from harm and danger”. Protect my Kentra. God you are my source of strength. I kept saying Lord you are my source of strength. God you are my source of strength. As I arose from the closet the room was hushed with silence. I picked up the kitchen table and sat mother and father’s chair in place. I grabbed the picture of mother and father from the floor and held it tight to my heart. ‘Mother”, “Father” I screamed and cried! Where are you? “God where is my mother and father”?

I heard a car door shut and I ran to the closet and hid under the chest. Some one is knocking at the door. The door opens, “I said, “Lord you are my source of strength they have come for me”. I was so afraid. I heard a woman’s voice say, is any one here? Kentra are you here. I slowly opened the closet door and it was my Auntie Umbola, “Auntie Auntie” I am so glad you are here.

She grabbed me and hugged me so tight I did not want to let go. I have come to take you home with me. “But Auntie they took mother and father”. I know, Kentra they are safe, come we must go now while it is day light. Kentra you will live with Uncle Tolee and I in Florida. I was so happy and so sad. I will be leaving mother and father here but I will be going to school in Florida. I remembered what father said; Kentra, “Never let your dream die”. I prayed, Thank you, God, for sending Auntie Umbola to help me. God protect mother and father. I will make them proud of me I will become a doctor and I will return, and care for the people of my country. God you are my source of strength. Amen


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This article has been read 279 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Valarie Sullivan02/13/09
This is a good story. Very dramatic and stirring.
Be careful of your grammar and punctuation. That comes with pratice, though. I really liked the MC's voice, I could almost hear her speak in a South American accent!
Norma-Anne Hough 02/15/09
Your emotions come through very strongly. I enjoyed this piece.
Love Norms
Gregory Kane02/15/09
an intense rollercoaster of emotions. Curiously, I was unable to work out the age of Kentra, whether she was, say, seven or older at, perhaps, thirteen - an enormous difference for a child in her understanding of the world and her ability to express herself. It would have helped me to visualise Kentra better had you included a few more clues to her own identity.