Call me Bongo Jones. I always wanted to write that. “Call me Ishmael” and all that, you know?
Anyway, I thought you might be interested in the inside story of my newest yarn. I’m not much of a bush bard, mind you. No good with the rhyming. But I like to spin a yarn.
So, it all started when I saw a thorny devil while hiking around Uluru. I knew Uluru was sacred to the Anangu. And I sort of understand their religion. I mean as much as a drover can. All them myths about Dreamtime. Boys playing in the mud and Sleepy Lizard Women and how they all account for different shapes and caves on Uluru.
I guess the thorny devil made me think of the real Devil—me being a Christian and all—and the myths made me start thinking how I could spin a yarn about the Devil leaving some mark on Uluru. But a Christian yarn; one that would make the blokes think about important stuff.
Then when I climbed to the top of Uluru, I saw the depressions there. I put that in the back of my mind.
And then a few years went by, and the third piece of the puzzle came. I saw this picture on the Internet. Yes, we have the Internet on the station now. What a world we live in! It was a picture of this meteor that looked like it almost hit Uluru in 2006. If you’ve never seen it, you should stop reading and go look at it. One place you can see it is at http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap080628.html.
Anyway, with that picture, everything clicked. I had my new yarn! I hope you like it.
Well, mates, it seems the Devil used to dance on top of Uluru. Every night he’d dance. And he’d shout and boast. And he’d give the same speech to his minions: “I’m the lord of Australia! This land is mine. For seventeen hundred years, those horrible Christ followers didn’t even believe anybody lived here. But they did. And I lied to them. I made them believe foolish things. Then came the criminals. Oh, there were some Christ followers mixed in, but they couldn’t do much. And soon they all said they were Christ followers, but they weren’t. Most of them just used the name—falling for my biggest lie!”
And the Devil danced for centuries. He never got tired of it. He danced right up ’til about sixty years ago.
But in Heaven, they heard his boast. And for hundreds of years, the angles would say to the Lord, “Why do you let him say that?” But the Lord would just say, “Wait.”
Then one day, the Lord said to one of the angels, “Take this telegram to Satan.”
“Telegram?!” exclaimed the angel.
“Yes. He thinks he is lord of the modern world. Let’s try a little modern communication. I think a singing telegram’s in order. Oh, and take some of these blokes with you.”
Now that angel was one of them flaming angles. If you’ve ever read the book of Hebrews, you’ve read about fiery angels like him. And all those others who went with him? They were a host.
And I tell you what, you ain’t never heard a singing telegram until you’ve heard one sung by a heavenly host.
And that angel came screaming out of heaven, straight for Uluru. And everybody who saw it—for miles around—all said a meteor hit Uluru that night. But it wasn’t no meteor.
Well, when that host landed on Uluru, the Devil and all his demons backed right up. And then the host started singing that telegram. And when it did, the Devil screamed and the demons shook and they all fled.
Do you know what it said on that telegram, mates? “The blessed and only Sovereign. Stop. The King of kings. Stop. And Lord of lords. Stop. Who alone possesses immortality. Stop. And dwells in unapproachable light. Stop. Whom no man has seen or can see. Stop. To Him be honor and eternal dominion. Stop.”*
And the Devil has never claimed to be lord of Australia again. Now mind you, he still wreaks as much havoc as he can, but he’s never dared dance on Uluru again. But if you ever climb Uluru, you can still see the worn down depressions from his footprints from all those centuries of dancing. That is, before God stopped him.
*I Tim. 6: 15-16 (NASB).
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