The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/25/05
Very nice, and I can see with the family that size, how ma-ma needed the break, bless dad's heart, and the kids seemed reallllllly close. TOUCH ME!
God bless ya, littlelight
Wonderful story! Realistic but humorous! Felt sorry for both Momma and Pop.
07/25/05
My husband is from a family of nine so really enjoyed this as it is so similar to his stories of road trips! The writing was wonderful, casual, and entertaining. A good read. Some more paragraph breaks would have made it a little easier on the eyes but otherwise fun! God Bless and Keep Writing!
07/26/05
I agree that you need to break up the writing inot smaller paragraphs. Using capital letters for emphasis worked quite well.
As the oldest of five kids I usually got the front! Ha ha. Now I feel sorry for the little one on the hump. I'd better give my baby sister a call... Thank you for the lovely story, and may God bless you always!
Lots of cute descripton and dialogue! This cracked me up: "Being Psychology Majors, WE know that the only way to make company appear is to SING about it in the NEGATIVE." I also agree that breaking up your paragraphs into smaller chunks would help make this more readable. Good job - tell more stories!!!! :-)
Made me laugh. How many of us are guilty of similar tactics or have children who are? Would like to see more paragraphs also but be encouraged: you told the story well and transported the reader right into the midst of it. Thank you!