The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/05/08
You have a way of putting the reader right in the scene.

You might want to clarify earlier that the Mom has dementia. Once that was clarified about halfway through, I had to go back and re-read, and some of it made much more sense then.

Well-written and compelling.
12/08/08
Maybe because I spent a few years working with the elderly, but I caught on right away that mom had dementia. Great descriptions and a good story.
12/09/08
Well done! I, too, have worked with dementia patients and understood the reference from the start. Maybe we nursy types just have a worldview unique to ourselves!
12/10/08
Yes, I think those of us who have relatives with dementia or who work with those who do had no trouble getting that clue right from the start. Your descriptions of the way a person behaves with this disease is on the mark. I could clearly see the images you projected in your story.
You really did draw me into this story. Appreciated how carefully the daughter handles her mom's illness with such understanding and love. With my husband working in hospitals and nursing homes, I understood right away that Mom was suffering from something.