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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Christmas Gifts (11/13/08)

TITLE: The Delivery
By Darin Chan
11/19/08


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Present Day - Cartegena, Columbia.


Midday, Outskirts of Cartegena

Not again! A bottle flew past his head. This had to the sixth time this month that Jorge had been attacked by flying bottles and four by rocks. Someone obviously didn't appreciate good Japanese bikes, he thought as he throttled the accelerator.

Still ever faithful, his eight year old motorcycle whined down the country road leaving a dirt cloud behind. Looking back, he saw no more bottles. That was close, he had no helmet like the others.

Jorge had just been working as a courier for local post office, this month he was responsible for delivering the packages of letters, cards and gifts. He still hasnít heard of over half the countries or cities that these packages had originated from. Except for the ones that had competed in the soccer world cup. Jorge knew his best way for a future was to compete in the local soccer competition and make his presence known to the scouts from various big-name clubs.

He pulled over next to a burnt-out shell of a car. Looking around to see he was safe, he checked the delivery address once more, one wrong mistake could mean costly delays and a shouting from that fool of a boss, Mr Michelago aka "Hammerhead".

The address was to a school not far from here and he noticed a charity logo on some of the mail. Staring up at the horizon, he remembered that they helped orphans and street kids. Someone or someones from overseas must really care about Cartegenas.

One of his friend's cousins had been taken in there. It was much better and safer for her to be there than anywhere else. He had heard stories of gangs kidnapping young girls and he did not want to believe it.



Midday- School outside Cartegena

The chatter and laughter would rise again. It was lunchtime. Marion was sitting under a tree by herself watching the group of fellow youngsters playing in small groups scattered throughout the courtyard. Others occupied themselves intensely with magnifying glass and insects.

"Marion, why don't you join us?" A young girl with dark pigtails had looked over. Marion shook her head slightly.
"What's wrong?" She said as she ran over and sat down next to Marion.
"Its..just..that.." Marion felt short of breath as her thoughts raced around. How she wished her friend Sheyla could tap into her mind and just understand- she felt something was lacking. "Do you think they got our cards in time?"
"I think so," Sheyla replied slowly. Then louder, "I hope so!"
Marion sighed. "I wonder what they're doing now" The last correspondence she had received was back at her birthday, seven months ago.
'Come on, let's go get some food!" Sheyla pointed to the lunch table as a young woman started to ring a bell.





Jorge knew he wanted to get out of Cartegena to a better future somewhere else in Columbia or possibly overseas. What a way, to score the winning goal in front of those scouts! He pedaled on triumphantly.

Three Christmas deliveries done earlier this morning, another 4 more for today. He rode for the school. Jorge was going to make sure everyone got their cards- rain, hail or shine. Or flying bottles.


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Member Comments
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Jan Ackerson 11/23/08
Very interesting story--I definitely wanted to know more about this setting and these characters, and I like your open ending.

Be careful of run-on sentences and comma splices.

With a bit of polish, this story could really shine!