The Official Writing Challenge
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You made me cry.
One thing I did see that would help:
Separate the letter from the body of the paragraph... Maybe add it as it would look like a letter instead of part of the paragraph.
A sweet story and a good reminder that no matter how bad things are, there are still people who love us.
Very sweet story. I'm glad the angel came to visit before he missed out on all the blessings the Lord has in store for them. Very nice!
This is such a precious story. I truly loved it.

Perhaps some of the "then"s could have been left out, but I still loved your story. :)
What a touching, and GOOD, story! A little tightening up is all you need as suggested in the other comments. I love the letter from Elisa to Jesus, and His answer was delivered spectacularly. Very nice!