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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Christmas Cards (11/06/08)

TITLE: Letter Late
By Marijo Phelps
11/10/08


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Letter Late

“Hey Suzi, who do you know in the military?” asked Toni.


“What do you mean?” Suzi hollered from upstairs.


“You got a letter with a military return address on it, I’ll bring it up to you.” Replied Toni as she ran up the stairs with the mail in her hands.


“John? Doesn’t look familiar to me let me get it open”, was Suzi’s comment while tearing the envelope.

Dearest Suzi, I am writing this from the hospital in Germany. Don’t panic, it is a leg wound but not that serious. Don’t think I will be sent back to anywhere near Viet Nam again soon though. Yes, I am coming home! Suzi, I love you and hope we can work things out. I want to hear back from you if you think there is still a possibility for US. WRITE! I have a teaching offer at UC in California that I will probably take. Nothing would be better than having you there with me. This is not how I planned to “pop the question” but would you consider marriage to this soon to be college professor? Have to get this mailed but am waiting for your answer. All my love, John


“Suzi, what is the world is that all about? Who is John? Our military hasn’t been in Viet Nam for years!”


Toni was mystified and Suzi was shaking her head….


“Toni! Grandma used to live in this house – and her nickname was Suzi too, you don’t suppose…..” Suzi asked as she reached for her cell phone.


“Hey, Grandma, it’s Suzi, how are you? Oh, we’re fine… say, did you used to know someone named John back when you were young?” Suzi queried.


“Oh, he was shot and died? How did you find that out? His parents got a notice? Oh, Grandma, how awful! No, no, well, talk to you later….” Suzi flipped the cell phone shut.


“Oh, my goodness, she thinks he died! And she never got this letter and he thinks that she didn’t care…. Hey, let’s get online to see if he’s still at UC!”


“Look sis, here is a list of professors, he IS still listed there! He’s a department head with an e-mail address, do you think we should write to him?”
_______________________________________The sisters wrote to see if they had the right professor. Grandma has been widowed for over 5 years and sure seemed lonely. They explained to him how she had heard he died and then the Christmas card that never arrived until this week, and how Suzannah was named after her grandma.


Dear Suzi and Toni,
To say I am shocked is the understatement of the decade. When I didn’t hear back from your Grandma Suzi I thought that was a “no” answer. I tried to call her when I got home. Her parents had moved and I had no other contact information for her. My Mom died shortly after that and life was in turmoil.
Do you think there is a chance I could see her or talk to her or ???
Sincerely,
John


Dear John,
Grandma has been so lonely since Grandpa went to be with the Lord 5 years ago. I think it would be neat if you two could talk again. Do you think we could surprise Grandma? Could you maybe come to our Christmas open house next week? We don’t live THAT far from you. You aren’t married?
Waiting excitedly,
Suzi and Toni
_______________________________________

Dear Girls,
I would love to come to the open house. Does your Grandma know the Lord? I came to know Him in that hospital in Germany. Things were pretty bad for awhile…..
She always loved surprises! See you in a week,
John


“Mom, what do you think? Will it be ok to have John surprise Grandma?” the girls asked in one voice.


“She always did love surprises but she thinks he has been dead for years. Let’s give her a hint that we have a huge surprise for her!” Mom answered.

_______________________________________

“Hi, John, I guess you might want your card back so you can give it to Grandma.” Said Suzi, handing him the envelope.


“Look, here she comes!” exclaimed Toni.

“ Hi girls,” as her eyes stopped on the handsome graying gentleman standing next to the door.


It couldn’t be, he died! “John??” whispered Grandma.


“Yes, Suzi, it is me after all these years” grinned John holding out the old card from 1969 to her. “Merry Christmas, Suzi”.


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This article has been read 453 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 11/15/08
What a unique take on the topic! Enjoyed the letters back and forth, and the excitement. What a Christmas gift! A very nice piece.
Catrina Bradley 11/17/08
Super idea for this topic, and I love the happy ending. It's a little rough in places, but the story is great. You did a good job on showing the excitement of the two girls, too. :)
Stephanie Craig11/18/08
Very creative. The transitions seemed a bit bumpy to me, but you took me on a very nice journey even with the bumps. I enjoyed your story very much.
Celeste Ammirata11/18/08
Cute story. I agree it's a little bumpy at parts, but all in all a delightful tale. I'm glad the two old loves got to meet each other again....And just in time for Christmas! Nicely done.
Loren T. Lowery 11/19/08
What a great imagination you have. This was a delight to read and very poignant. I noticed you included your title in the body of your work, this doesn't need to be done and helps to cut down on the word count.
Marlene Austin11/19/08
Really nice plot. Take time to proof-read before you click the submit button and I bet you would be able to correct a lot of the careless mistakes. :)
Leah Nichols 11/20/08
Great story! You are trying to pack a lot of plot into 750 words....maybe pick only one or two scenes and make them be the focus of the piece. That allows you to draw the reader into your writing. One question, though....why would a card be almost forty years late? I didn't think the postal service was that bad.... :)


   
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