The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
WOW! I loved this. I haven't thought of it the way you put it.
I found myself in the middle of it, feeling and seeing everything.
Negi's freedom and the question of what price her savior would pay and paralleling that to our Saviour.
Keep up the good writing.
AWESOME, AWESOME STORY! This was very powerful and a completely unique take on this week's topic.

With writing like this, you won't be in beginners for long. :)
10/27/08
Wonderfully done. Excellent descriptions and an incredible story. Wow is right.
10/30/08
Aboslutely wonderful! I love the out of the box creativity...keep writing you are great!