The Official Writing Challenge
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Thank you for sharing this.

There are a lot of grammar errors and typos, but those are easily fixed. I recommend that you have someone look over your entry and point out these errors before you submit. That will help you catch problems that you may not have otherwise seen.

Also, adding some white space between ideas is a good idea to help your reader be able to follow your story easily. Please don't take these suggestions wrong. I am just offering them to try and help you take your story and make it even better.

Keep on writing! :)
10/26/08
What a busy lady you are! There is so much going on in your kitchen!

Sometimes reading your story out loud to yourself helps you to pick up some of the errors.