The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/09/08
Very unique POV, and clever to have the two significant donkeys be related to each other.

I'm not sure why the donkey can have such an extensive vocabulary, and still not know the word "sheep".

A nice way of staying true to the Biblical account of Christmas, yet bringing something creative to the Challenge. Good job.
10/10/08
I like how you took a different angle. This could be a good children's story.
Keep writing!
10/12/08
I love this creative POV! It may be a bit weak for the topic, but has a strong story line and kept me reading eagerly!
10/13/08
This was entertaining. I agree, there is potential for a children's book here. Loved the POV.
It's an interesting POV coming from a donkey. Good story.
Great POV - and I agree, it would make a great children's book.
10/14/08
Interesting read and powerful message. I like the part about the angels singing three dimensional notes -- it's very imaginative and creative.
Unique POV and loved the way the message of Christmas was presented.
Very creative, yet true to the Scriptural story. I enjoyed this.
Great imaginative writing. You did a nice job staying in "character". Loved the tie-in with the colt Jesus rode at the entry to Jerusalem. :)
10/15/08
I love the word "wooly-bahs" -- how perfect! :) …and your creativity with the donkey's point of view. Oh… and the "three-dimensional notes! I can hardly wait to hear those. What a wonderful thought! And then, how beautifully creative that an offspring of the manger donkey was the one that carried the Lord in his triumphal entry… Great work!
10/16/08
Very creative entry - nice work with the POV. Um, I'd say that you could spend more time on the Christmas story and then maybe throw in the comments about the grandson being the colt at the very end. It felt a little rushed through the middle, probably due to the word limit. Excellent writing - great job!
Truly creative, especially the idea of the grandson donkey (colt) bearing Jesus on His triumphal entry. I agree this would make a good children's story.
Good idea with using the donkeys. I enjoyed your creativity.
Blessings,
Norms