The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/11/08
Great story! I can relate!
09/12/08
Smile..."CHEESE" ... I liked your spiritual application, very true! It would help the reader to break it up into paragraphs at each new thought. Also leave an extra space between the paragraphs. Well written.
09/14/08
Easy-going human interesting story leading smoothly into spiritual application.
Funny enough, what most disturbed me was your ending when you shifted the metaphor on to pots and clay. Would have been better if you had found some way to bring it back to cheese. Now where's my concordance ...