The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/11/05
Fun beginning. Keep double spaces between paragraphs in the rest of the story to keep it flowing on the eyes. This has potential for a kids sunday reader.
Very cute!
07/12/05
I agree, I can picture this lesson taught in Sunday School. Very nice. I would say the same about spacing between paragraphs.
God bless, littlelight
With a little work I can see this being a great story for a children's magazine or Sunday School paper. The beginning was a bit confusing as you seemed ot switch back and forth between third person and first person. Good work!
07/13/05
This is beginning of something greater. Keep working on this and submit it to a Christian children's magazine.
07/14/05
A nice object lesson -might work well in a kids take home paper for Sunday School.
A fun story on the meaning of true "value". I think kids would like this one!