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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Beach (07/04/05)

TITLE: Buried Treasure (i)
By Elisabeth Seiter
07/10/05


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BURIED TREASURE


“It’s here! I know it’s here. It’s got to be here!!”

The sand flew furiously in the air as Joe dug yet deeper .

“I feel like a dog looking for his precious bone. This treasure was a lot more valuable

than a stupid old bone. I know I didn’t bury it this deep. THINK!! He said to himself.

Check your markings. Yes…second clump of grass beyond the dune about a foot in front
of the driftwood”.
“It was just plain stupid of me not to tell the others. Now no one will believe me. NO!!!” I screamed aloud. “I had to be selfish. I wanted it all to myself” Joe rocked back and forth on the sand hopelessly sobbing. This was supposed to be a sharing week for Bible camp, but nooooo, I wanted the treasure all to myself . Now I have nothing!”
Suddenly Joe heard some rustling in the brush. “Hey, Joe. What’s the matter? You look upset? Can I help you?” Bill plopped down on the sand next to me.
"Oh Bill, I’ve been really stupid. I found this really neat box, it had engraving around the border and roses on it and everything. It was only this big.” Joe moved his hands to show Bill the size of the box. “ On the top in the middle was the mark of a cross. I wanted to keep it, and now I’ve lost it forever. I buried it here so I wouldn’t have to share it with you or the other boys in Sunday School.” Joe stammered, “I’m sorry Bill”
“Well” said Bill, he was 2 years older than Joe at age 9, and a lot wiser, “That was not what we were supposed to do. This was to be a week of fun at vacation bible school on the beach, finding hidden treasures was just a game during our off time. Do you really think the pastor thought something valuable would be found when he said ,go find a hidden treasure?”
“No I guess not, but when I discovered the Box yesterday I buried it figuring I would come back when no one was looking and sneak it into my bag. Stupid, Huh? “Joe said.
“No, not stupid just not the best idea. We can change that now. What if we get all the guys to help you look for the box. I bet we can find it a lot faster.” said Bill.
“Sounds great” said Joe
The other boys joined the search with much excitement since they knew that there was a treasure box buried somewhere close to them on the beach. Sure enough the box was discovered by David. David ran to Joe and handed him the box. Out of breath David said, “This is the most beautiful box I have ever seen! Does it open?”
“I don’t know , I didn’t get a chance to try it.” said Joe. Joe looked at the box for a long moment and handed the treasure to his friend Bill. “You open it Bill. I wouldn’t have it if it wasn’t for you.” Bill took the box carefully and gently shook it. “Hey there is something inside.” he said. He opened it and out tumbled a gold cross covered in precious stones. Joe reached down picked it up and gave Pastor Bob the Cross.
“What’s this for?” Pastor Bob asked. “You found it Joe it belongs to you.”
“No. This cross is really beautiful, but I wouldn’t have it if Bill and the rest of the guys had not helped me. It belongs in the Church where everyone can see it. I think I found the real treasure. It’s having friends who help you, and accept you just as you are even when you make mistakes. I think that must be what Jesus was trying to show the people—to love one another.”

"I think you have found the best treasure of all" Pastor Bob exclaimed.


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This article has been read 672 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Tammy Johnson07/11/05
Fun beginning. Keep double spaces between paragraphs in the rest of the story to keep it flowing on the eyes. This has potential for a kids sunday reader.
Ashley McIntosh07/11/05
Very cute!
Nina Phillips07/12/05
I agree, I can picture this lesson taught in Sunday School. Very nice. I would say the same about spacing between paragraphs.
God bless, littlelight
Amy Michelle Wiley 07/12/05
With a little work I can see this being a great story for a children's magazine or Sunday School paper. The beginning was a bit confusing as you seemed ot switch back and forth between third person and first person. Good work!
dub W07/13/05
This is beginning of something greater. Keep working on this and submit it to a Christian children's magazine.
Shari Armstrong 07/14/05
A nice object lesson -might work well in a kids take home paper for Sunday School.
Beth Muehlhausen07/15/05
A fun story on the meaning of true "value". I think kids would like this one!