Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Truth or Dare (08/28/08)
TITLE: Choices: Who are you listening to?
By Elizabeth White
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Ok. I did it. I proved I could. I proved that I was thinking about it, that it wasnít just a stupid idea in my head. I proved that it was real.
It was scary. I never thought I would do that. It was a choice to do so as well. It was clear; I made the decision. I used to think that it wasnít like that, that when people chose that sort of thing that they werenít thinking clearly, but it was a clear choice. I chose to. I proved that it was real.
That was nothing... That doesnít count...
Well, now Iíve added to it. It is real now. Iíve proven that it was real.
I canít stand this. I feel like I have this massive secret.
You canít tell anyone. Then it wouldnít be real.
This is huge. I just feel like I have this huge secret, and it wonít go away. It feels like everybody knows. Iím sick of hiding. I canít hide.
Truth: What is truth? What would it mean to be real, honest, and transparent before another?
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?! You told someone. That means nothing counts in the first place. It wasnít real. You only did it for attention. You only did it because you had seen your friends doing it. Youíre a COPYCAT! Youíre a FAKE!
NO! I have to prove that this is real. I AM NOT MY FRIENDS! I am me. Why canít anything in my life be real?
Well donít even THINK about telling anybody else. If you tell, it will disprove what you were trying to prove in the first place. If you tell, then it wonít be real.
What about being honest? What about truth?
YOU DID WHAT!!! And I bet that you will take his advice too... thatís TWO people now... it will be four soon... YOUíRE A FAKE!
NO! I wonít tell them.
...but Iím coming back to God now. Things are going ok now...
BUT THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!?! You call yourself a Christian. You said that it was your choice; that you deliberately made the decision to sin. You deliberately chose to go against God. Iíll tell you something, a Christian doesnít do something like that.
How could I?
"There is something important about truth. When we bring things into the light, the devil canít accuse us anymore."
I told you so... I told you... You canít keep anything to yourself. Hah! What will they think of you now?
I feel so ashamed...
What do they think?
"We want you to know that we care about you and are totally supportive of you, whatever happens today."
I donít deserve this. I donít deserve that you should care. I donít deserve that God should go with me. This is my own fault. Whatever happens today is my own fault; I created this situation for myself. Our actions have consequences. I deserve this.
Yes you did, didnít you?...
It feels like the whole world knows. She found out; she said that she was judging me...
ďYou said that you had weird friends, I mean, that isnít something which I would ever do...Ē
I AM NOT MY FRIENDS... Please let me be myself.
ďI donít value our friendship anymore.Ē
What have you done? Youíve ruined your friendship and where do you think that youíve left her now? Youíre meant to be showing her an example of what a Christian is.
...I thought everything was ok...
The scars remain as a reminder of sin.
I will be honest.
"I think that you were surrounded by so many people doing that, that that is what led you to do it."
NO! Donít you understand? I am not my friends. I want to be me, I want to be real. I trusted you. I thought that you understood. I was real, honest and transparent before you. Iím not copying my friends. Iím not fake.
Thatís right... you canít talk to them anymore... think about what they must think of you.
It is real.
I was trying to prove...
I was trying to prove...
I donít know what I am trying to prove anymore.
It's called Self Harm.
I will be real, I will be honest before YOU, the one who is Truth.
It is a choice: Truth or Dare?
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