Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Truth or Dare (08/28/08)
TITLE: Choices: Who are you listening to?
By Elizabeth White
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Ok. I did it. I proved I could. I proved that I was thinking about it, that it wasn’t just a stupid idea in my head. I proved that it was real.
It was scary. I never thought I would do that. It was a choice to do so as well. It was clear; I made the decision. I used to think that it wasn’t like that, that when people chose that sort of thing that they weren’t thinking clearly, but it was a clear choice. I chose to. I proved that it was real.
That was nothing... That doesn’t count...
Well, now I’ve added to it. It is real now. I’ve proven that it was real.
I can’t stand this. I feel like I have this massive secret.
You can’t tell anyone. Then it wouldn’t be real.
This is huge. I just feel like I have this huge secret, and it won’t go away. It feels like everybody knows. I’m sick of hiding. I can’t hide.
Truth: What is truth? What would it mean to be real, honest, and transparent before another?
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?! You told someone. That means nothing counts in the first place. It wasn’t real. You only did it for attention. You only did it because you had seen your friends doing it. You’re a COPYCAT! You’re a FAKE!
NO! I have to prove that this is real. I AM NOT MY FRIENDS! I am me. Why can’t anything in my life be real?
Well don’t even THINK about telling anybody else. If you tell, it will disprove what you were trying to prove in the first place. If you tell, then it won’t be real.
What about being honest? What about truth?
YOU DID WHAT!!! And I bet that you will take his advice too... that’s TWO people now... it will be four soon... YOU’RE A FAKE!
NO! I won’t tell them.
...but I’m coming back to God now. Things are going ok now...
BUT THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!?! You call yourself a Christian. You said that it was your choice; that you deliberately made the decision to sin. You deliberately chose to go against God. I’ll tell you something, a Christian doesn’t do something like that.
How could I?
"There is something important about truth. When we bring things into the light, the devil can’t accuse us anymore."
I told you so... I told you... You can’t keep anything to yourself. Hah! What will they think of you now?
I feel so ashamed...
What do they think?
"We want you to know that we care about you and are totally supportive of you, whatever happens today."
I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve that you should care. I don’t deserve that God should go with me. This is my own fault. Whatever happens today is my own fault; I created this situation for myself. Our actions have consequences. I deserve this.
Yes you did, didn’t you?...
It feels like the whole world knows. She found out; she said that she was judging me...
“You said that you had weird friends, I mean, that isn’t something which I would ever do...”
I AM NOT MY FRIENDS... Please let me be myself.
“I don’t value our friendship anymore.”
What have you done? You’ve ruined your friendship and where do you think that you’ve left her now? You’re meant to be showing her an example of what a Christian is.
...I thought everything was ok...
The scars remain as a reminder of sin.
I will be honest.
"I think that you were surrounded by so many people doing that, that that is what led you to do it."
NO! Don’t you understand? I am not my friends. I want to be me, I want to be real. I trusted you. I thought that you understood. I was real, honest and transparent before you. I’m not copying my friends. I’m not fake.
That’s right... you can’t talk to them anymore... think about what they must think of you.
It is real.
I was trying to prove...
I was trying to prove...
I don’t know what I am trying to prove anymore.
It's called Self Harm.
I will be real, I will be honest before YOU, the one who is Truth.
It is a choice: Truth or Dare?
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