The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/30/08
It's hard to see people we love struggle, isn't it?

Try to do more "showing" instead of "telling." Instead of just telling us what happened to the roommate, show us. That whole paragraph could be a story all on it's own!

You did a great job of telling about a time where patience is needed. It's hard not to jump in and try to solve the problems ourselves.